What seemed like an innocent package at our doorstep turned into a night full of surprises, brief sadness, barking, and full stomachs. Let me begin…

I was a bit over-cautious, I’ll admit that now, but when you hear scratching on the inside of a package that says PERISHABLE, you gotta be. Even B wouldn’t get too close, so we called in reinforcements.
By the time my husband walked in the door, I had deduced that this must be a seemingly wonderful holiday gift from a work vendor no doubt, because the previous year we received a couple of lobster tails (just the tails, frozen and non-living) in a similar package. But that package wasn’t filled with the sounds of scratching claws.
Once my husband got home I started thinking, “Silly me, I could have opened this package up myself like a big girl…it’s not like the lobsters are going to be sitting there, ready to jump out at me! They are probably securely wrapped up in….whatever you wrap a living sea creature in.” But sure enough, we popped the lid off and there they were, crawling all over our cob of corn! I was a bit freaked at this point.

They waived their claws at us, whether it was a greeting or out of protest, we’ll never know. At that point I couldn’t help but name them…Lobby and Lucy. Some of you are thinking that it’s just wrong to name something that’s going in your stomach, but I felt it was more cruel not to acknowledge their existence in my kitchen. Plus, I had to talk with Lobby about giving up our oyster crackers he had clenched in his tail, and I felt bad saying, “Hey you!” Anyways…

Do these things come with an instruction manual?

Yep.
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